The silent invaders

What are the thoughts that sneak into your consciousness? The quiet ones of which you are barely aware, but slowly start to dominate your energy. They start as a small particle and transform into waves. Manifestations of our unconscious minds, vibrationally increasing until they have become engulfed within our own vortices. 

…once the subconscious mind accepts an idea, it begins to execute it. It is an interesting and subtle truth that th elaw of the subconscious mind works for good and bad alike.

~Joseph Murphy

Buidling intentions through awareness helps shine light on our silent invaders, those psychic vampires that can suck us dry if malevolent and can seduce us into action with the right whisper and touch. 

Balancing ecosystems.

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My beloved took me to the planetarium the other day. I was overwhelmed by the beauty of what I saw. Being engulfed in the solar system, listening to the sound track of planetary personalities, was a gorgeous experience. I watched as we passed moons, and astroids, and gaseous planets. About the planets that were too cold to sustain life, the ones that were too hot, and the ones that were too instable. At this stage in my life, I was overcome with the sensitivity required to host human existence. It takes just the right combination of elements to sustain an environment capable to create life. But somehow, this planet of ours has Goldilocked the opportunity of existence.

It made me see the earth as fragile and special. It took hundreds of years for the right amount of “right combinations” to converge and here we are, slowly destroying the delicate ecosystem we call home. We surround ourselves with the unnecessary and extraneous, fooling ourselves into thinking those things are needs. But how important will they be when we have destroyed our planet beyond inhabitable? We already know the earth is on a timeline as we know our sun will someday explode. So why are we hurrying along our destruction?

 
I was also recently introduced to someone reading a book called the Body Ecology Diet, a book designed to maintain our inner ecology. We are as fragile as this earth. We tend to see humanity’s mortality as disease, fatigue, obesity, infections and all else invade our bodies easier than we see the destruction of the earth at times. Seeing how we treat our selves often times, it isn’t surprising to see how we treat our home, this space station orbiting a sun, fostering intelligence and life in a myriad of forms. 

These two concurrent ideas that have knocked on my door have me reviewing my life to see where better decisions can be made. Consider the delicacy of your own inner ecosystem. How well do you care for it?  What do your decisions say about how much you care for your health and the health of your environment? And I leave you with this quote to consider from Donna Gates:

It is time to restore the ecology of our planet and the ecology of our bodies. By rebuilding our health and our immunity, we can restore our inner ecology, and we will have a much better chance to achieve all our goals, including restoring the ecology of our outer world.

Blosummer

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The summer solstice was yesterday. The longest day of the year and the marker of summer. Our planet was tilted the most it can be toward our star, the Sun. And yesterday was Father’s Day, my first without my dad. I was reminded of this card he sent me a couple of years ago:

  
I took the opportunity while I was driving home from the mountains with my family to go to a Gong Bath to self-reflect on what kind of energy in which I was enveloped. 

I tend to think of blossoming as a very pretty thing. The natural association is of flowers, as each petal unfolds and spreads and shares itself with the world. Colors in a myriad of hues and vibrancy’s gracing our eyes. Its essence incensing the air, wafting the olfactory sense. Life has been waiting during the slumber of winter, the nurture of spring to burst forth in the heat of summer.  Bella Donna with its folklorean qualities, Coneflowers with its medicinal undertones, Fushia with its beauty, Strawberries with their nourishment, Roses with their thorns, Dandelions with their weed associations, Venus Fly Traps with their ferosity, Bind Weed with its clinginess.  

We ourselves have as many combinations, qualities and characteristics that can bloom for this summer. Maybe take a few moments just to see, nearly halfway through the year, what this year has brought you. What bears do you have that emerged after hibernation, and what quality of thoughts, emotions, characteristics are you nurturing? No judgments, just be an observer. Check in with your heart, its beat; your breath, its rhythm; your thoughts, their lyrics. If they were a graphic novel character, how would they manifest, what traits would they have?

The idea of blossoming, to me sounds freeing. A catharctic release of what’s been bound up inside. It doesn’t matter what’s inside, it has to be released. It’s how we release it that matters. Bringing intention and awareness into our blossom can make it that much sweeter.  So enjoy a moment for self-reflection. Maybe it will make you smile, maybe tear up. Whatever it is, accept it, be curious about it, and express it. Share it if it needs to be shared, heal it if it needs healing, enjoy it if it tickles you. So blossom this summer since you are a blosummer.

I’ll leave you with the words my dad inscribed inside:

Continue to create and blossom. You are your own entity…the beauty you have is you exercise that inner self as painful as it may be…thank you for being you.
~Arnold Sax

What is your propensity?

Defining Propensity

Defining Propensity

 

I was watching an episode of  “The Universe” and it was talking about the earth’s tendency to tilt on an axis, much like a gyroscope, as it revolves around the sun. They called it the earth’s propensity. Such a great word.

Propensity.

What is your propensity? What is your disposition inclined to do? Our propensity can say a lot about the quality of our character. It reveals aspects of our personality and how we tend to use our energy. How you respond on a yoga mat is often how you respond to situations off the mat. If you tend toward the vinyasa classes and like a fast-past hard class, perhaps you are a type A in the world. If you advance the postures, taking the binds and the arm balances and inversions, perhaps you are a risk taker. Do you lose your mind in the flow or are you focused on an intention, a quality of energy, you want to exude into the world?

 

“A propensity to hope and joy is real riches; one to fear and sorrow real poverty”
D
avid Hume

 

Without judgement, with pure observation, consider your first inclination when you consider the following:

  • Yes or No
  • Do you like to take risks
  • Are you quiet
  • Do you tend to be fast-paced or slower
  • Eagle or Sleeping Pigeon
  • Running or Meditation
  • Irritation or Compassion
  • Logical or Creative
  • Bikram or Yin
  • Cat or dog
  • Early bird or night owl
  • Swim or fly
  • East Coast or West Coast
  • Procrastinate or just do it

What do you think your answers said about you? Maybe dedicate a day where you listen to your natural impulses and consider them for a moment. As you encounter your loved ones, coworkers, strangers, consider how you tend to act around them and why. Listen to your mind as you drive, where are your thoughts? Consider your propensities for a day, and with that awareness, then consider if they are still aligned with your intentions and truth.

Crows and Coconuts pt. 3 It Didn’t matter

ResponsibleEnergy

So, there were crows flying around landing on branches perhaps influencing the coconuts fall to the ground, but the story didn’t end there.

It said it didn’t matter if the crow was responsible or if it was just the coconuts time to fall. It. Didn’t. Matter.

I had spent hours in my head looking for the cause and effect, looking for the reason. In a state of shock I went in search of the crows, I wanted the why behind such a life-changing incident of such magnitude…without warning, everything changed. Considering all of the why’s of the situation, I left the ground and lived in that state of surreal suspension of the coconut, of suspended gravity looking at every incident in my life as a timeless orb on Indra’s Net. The orbs are as endless as are the connections. I saw so many paths being traced, simultaneously, that brought me to the point of my father’s death and the possible effects of it. I could see the weaver of fates’ (Moirai, Norns, Shai, Gaia, Spirit, God) imprint in my web of life, that beautiful tapestry that is the graphic novel of my life.

And in that suspension I tried to read it.

My beloved gave me a gong bath where I experienced an initiation of sorts in the mysteries of the world. I journeyed through the timeless portals and tunnels of the upper chakras, connecting with the universe in all its varieties and expanses, and danced around the ancient fires of the lower ones. I entered a space of contemplation where I heard my Dad laugh at the thought of bringing my tarantula home and how much my mom was going to not like it. I literally heard him laugh and kind of poke at me to get me to laugh, and I did, I had a little giggle. I felt  love. I went to my Shaman and deepened my journey into the mysteries. I experienced lava flowing and a silent journey on the river Styx beside my dad. I went to Red Rocks shows dancing under the stars of time and experienced such a gamut of emotions. Brit Floyd got me bad as it was the music of my dad. I started to imagine where he was in his life when he was listening to Pink Floyd and imagined the soldier, the man in Thailand during the Vietnam War. Of him, skinny, bald and incorrigible.  So I got a giggle when I felt my knee bending to a beat I couldn’t really hear, but have seen my Dad rock quite frequently. It was an involuntary movement for the duration of  a song and I laughed as I realized that I was dancing the dance of my father…and then I wept when I Wished He Was Here.

I searched for crows and I searched for coconuts. I was a crow and I was a coconut. I was bathed in possible connections, I was a fly caught in a spider web. The only thing of which I was certain was that there was going to be a transformation. And that was the point of the crow and the coconut story.Be responsible for the energy you bring.

We can’t know the why. We can have an inkling and we can think we know, and maybe we’re right and maybe we’re partially right and maybe we are waaaay off base. It’s simply part of the journey of being human. We ask questions, we search for answers, we make calculations to determine what truths we think we can, we search our selves and listen to our intuition and cultivate faith in what we feel. It made me start considering the quality of my actions. And being responsible for the energy I bring. I don’t want to be angry about it. I don’t want that to be the energy I bring. I was told by a friend that the pain will never disappear, that it will always be there and I will always feel it. So during those moments in between the sadness, I want to exude trust, courage, positivity in life. I hate that he died and I still have yet to really wrap my head around it. But I don’t want to feel shitty. I have spent way too many years in the darkness and trying to drag myself out of a pit of anger. I don’t want to go back to that space, and I no longer want to bring that energy. I’m human and therefore fall into that space at times, but I try to show up with love and compassion. I try to commune with my dad’s spirit and remember the wonderful memories, and shed the tears when I miss him. It will happen for the rest of my life.

There are so many unknowns in life, and shit that happens when you just have no idea it was even yet a thought. It’s an exchange of energy. So showing up in life with awareness and conscious intention becomes what’s important. The idea that you don’t know when something small that you do may change someone else’s world. Or when something huge will transform yours.

We only ever can control our own actions. We cannot know the full effects of what we do and how others are effected by our energetic exchanges. It doesn’t really matter if the coconut fell because the crow landed on the branch. It may have made a huge difference, or no difference at all. But it’s important to have landed. To reach out to others with love and respect. To treat others with dignity and honor. Coming from a place of positive intention helps ensure that we are putting a quality of energy out there that can resonate positively. Energy and vibrations interact in subtle ways so even our thoughts are an energetic force. We need to think and speak these kindnesses. You never know when you can make someone smile during a time of tears, or when it’s your last goodbye.

You can help change the world, even if it’s the worlds time to change.

ResponsibleEnergy

 

Part I, Part II

Crows and Coconuts pt 2

I humbly surrender to the universe

You know the story didn’t end here.

I searched for crows still. Throughout history, the crow has been associated with both positive and negative symbolic meanings. The most common are:

  • Life magic; mystery of creation
  • Destiny, personal transformation, alchemy
  • Intelligence
  • Higher perspective
  • Being fearless, audacious
  • Flexibility, adaptability
  • Trickster, manipulative, mischevious

Other traditional meanings associate the crow with bad omen, death, and dark witchcraft. The crow also carries the power of prophetic insight and symbolizes the void or core of creation. (source)

An entity such as this landed on a branch at the same time a coconut fell. It seems fitting. But what does it mean and my question of why still hung in the air. But as I read on in the story…

And what of that coconut? Was it going to fall anyway? Was it ripening and ready to be released to the ground? Was the crows transformative, magical essence an inspiration to the coconut to fall to the ground to offer up its water, its milk, its flesh, its life energy, in a fearless way? For the coconut, things have changed drastically. Once arboreal, dangling, growing, expanding and to have let go of the branch to fall. The coconut was already going through so much on its own, and then to have the crow land…it’s in these moments that the human consciousness befuddles the situation. For a coconut, it just falls when it falls. To the best of my knowledge, a coconut does not swirl into an existential quandary about the influencer of the crow, the ego of wondering at the timing of it all, the wonderment of what happens next, for this coconut and the ones around it.

The coconut just falls. It surrenders to the universe.

It releases its connection to the branch, maybe experiences a brief moment of suspension, and then starts to feel the air wrap around the coconut, enveloping it in a timeless, wind tunnel. Where the energies of the crow and the ground merge, connect, dance in endless combinations, all of them and none of them, swirling, stunning, tickling the coconut. 

And it’s a surreal mix of reality and intuition, knowing and wishing.

“I can teleport to the stars…
like the universe is singing a song.
It’s just a story though
Is it a story though?
I can’t tell if it happened cause it felt impossible
Don’t know whether it was real or a dream
Imagination playing tricks on me
Now tell me what you know
Is this a story or
An allegory for the racket knocking at my door?
What’s the difference if it’s real or a dream?
Imagination playing tricks on me”

~Murakami, Made in Heights

Part I, Part III

Crows and coconuts pt 1

Crow

There’s a paradox parable of sorts in the Vastishana about a crow and a coconut. It explores the idea of timing. Not in the sense of minute-to-minute, hour-to-hour, day-to-day but in the more eternal sense of fate. It’s a befuddling concept that has tickled man’s mind since we discovered opposable thumbs. For me it develops into a question of a conscious universe, in some ways law of attraction, power of the unconscious. What is the nature of energy? Can we influence our future or are we subject to whatever happens…Is it a dance with Fate the way I had come to think of it?

I had just experienced a devastating occurrence of life. I was desperate for the answer to the quandary: do things happen for a reason? I sat down, picked up my Hindu Mythology book and came across the aforementioned crow and coconut story.

A crow alights a branch at the same exact time a coconut falls to the ground. Did the crows’ touch cause the coconut to fall, or was the coconut about to fall anyway?

Cause and effect is a theme in life. We learn it in school in chemistry (I think) and see it on a molecular level. It’s those scientific notions, the law of conservation of energy, law of attraction, that support the energetic exchanges our ancestors intuitively knew. I leaned toward cause and effect and started seeking the crow that caused my coconut to fall. I looked in every possible corner of my mind, heart and soul. And let me tell you, I came up with a shitload of possible crows. But in a sky of crows, I couldn’t pick out one that satisfied the overwhelming feelings of a situation that rendered me baffled. So to choose one crow that landed on that branch causing the coconut to fall was impossible. I started to wonder if it was possible to choose just one and if there was even the possibility of one…is there a why to the things that happen to us? Is there a reason? Or does shit just happen? All possible crows.

Take a deep breath in, open mouth release it out. Crow is about hugging into center, arms externally rotate and squeeze in to create a stable shelf as a foundation for your crow, your core reaches for your spine so much they fuse in fluidity, your legs squeeze together to create a lift in the lower torso, your mind wraps around your breath, funneling your awareness into being Bakasana. Fingers come down to the mat, spread the fingers nice and wide, press down under the nails. Establish your chaturanga arms and bring your knees to the back of your arms. We are traditionally not weight bearing on our arms…just get used to the idea of holding yourself on your hands. Try picking up one foot, and then the other, and then maybe both. Look about 6 inches forward, settle your gaze on a single dristi (focal point), push down into the earth with your hands and as you do that, reach the forearms in toward each other and rotate your shoulders to the outer sides and then back and down your back. Bring your knees to the back of your arms, engage the core, look forward, pick the legs up from the floor, take flight into Bakasana, Crow.

Crow

 

Part II, Part III

Take a Break

Open Mouth Exhale

Take a break. Just breathe. Be present for a few moments. Close your eyes if you’d like. Relax the shoulders back and down. Take a huge breath in, suspend it for a moment, and then release it out.

Open Mouth Exhale

 

Feel better?

 

It’s important for us to take the occasional break during the day, the week, the month, life. We are an on-the-go society and that’s fine. It works for most. Keeping yourself healthy and aligned during the chaos is important. And sometimes that requires us giving ourselves permission to take a break, to step away. It could be from the computer, a goal, a relationship, a job, life in general. And it could be for 30 seconds, minutes, days. And that’s not to insinuate that what we are doing is bad, we could be dedicating our energy to cultivating beauty in our lives and manifesting our dreams, and still need to take a break.

I sometimes use breaks for reflection. I like to see from where I have come, how I have grown and who I am now. I feel like we all change so much and sometimes don’t even realize it ourselves and then one day we look in the mirror and holy shit how the hell did I get here and who is this person with the green hair and tattoos looking back at me. It can definitely be a giggle. Sometimes it’s a lesson that I need to learn so I can move forward with ease. Those moments when you see your dream and you keep bumping up against the same wall, the same damn situation and how the hell do you shift in ANY direction just to experience something new and hopefully rewarding this time. And we learn how to release stuck emotions and energy patterns. And sometimes it’s those times when you look at yourself and realize you need to reconnect with yourself and love yourself again b/c you have lost your connection with your divine soul.

It’s important to listen to your intuition and to be able to read the signs that say it’s time for a break. Otherwise it’s like a tree in a Primorye winter whose sap is freezing and expanding…it expands until the tree bursts, unable to contain what was growing within. And when an explosion like that happens, there is no going back, there is no putting the tree back together, scooping up the sap and stuffing it back into the tree.

So when you start to feel a little claustrophobic, overwhelmed, a little crazy, before you get to bat shit crazy…give yourself permission to take a break. Breathe, reflect, release, do whatever you need to do to feel better. Enjoy yourself, your life, your relationships. And just exist, in the moment.

 

XOXO

 

 

Kundalini Conversation

Kundalini Surge

Not Me

And what Kindalini all about?

 

Me

Ohhhhh sweetness…It’s from where my love for snakes was born

Hard to find classes…it’s been a lot theory for me

well, and I get caught in a single location and it’s hard to break out and try new things…but apparently there is a Kundalini studio on 29th and Julian…but it’s so far and difficult to get there…

for me, the alignment of the chakra’s through pranayama and asana lead to the awakening of the Kundalini energy. That energy, they say, is stored at the base of your spine, below the Muladahara vortex, and is coiled like a sleeping snake. When the chakra’s are aligned and you are in a higher vibrational state (meditation usually), the snake uncoils and slides up your spine. I just did a Kundalini sketch last night even, lol

Not me

That sounds so cool

Me

It’s much of the caduceus symbol with the snakes riding up the Ida and Pingala

but the energy shooting out of the shushing

It’s why I love snakes and the chakras

fuck….sushumna…

So much of my practice has been gearing me for Kundalini. I’ve been doing a lot of the work to get there. Physically, it’s one of the easier practices so newbies sometimes flock to Kundalini without understanding the concept of it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still fantastic and I’m glad they are doing it. You know I’m a Jung fan…well, maybe you don’t, but my intent to understand the shadow self to be able to dance with it instead of live in fear of it falls into Jungian theory a lot, so…Jung wrote, “When you succeed in awakening the Kundalini so that it starts to move out of its mere potentiality, you necessarily start a world which is totally different from our [usual] world. It is a world of eternity.”  If I were to go truly nuts…the Celestine Prophecy idea of the levels of vibration and then the supreme level that caused the Myans to disappear…to essentially turn into vibrations, could, could, be considered Kundalini…each stage working your way up your chakra system. My opinion of course. I haven’t read that anywhere for it to be real, but those are the connections I made.

Not me

It sounds wonderful, we have to go

Kundalini Surge
Kundalini Surge

Yoga as remedy

“He that will not apply new remedies must expect new evils; for time is the greatest innovator.”
Sir Francis Bacon

If you have stepped onto a mat or are considering stepping onto a mat, welcome to a new remedy. Welcome to a new paradigm, one of balance, one of our truest selves, for that is one thing yoga is: the study of balance. It is a study that spirals through the ether with us, twisting as we experience our ups and downs on this path of life. And through it all it keeps bringing us home, to the truest essence of our selves. It creates the space for us to become our own observers, to quiet the mind, to slow our pace, to dedicate an hour of ourselves to discovering ourselves – how we react in postures physically and mentally may reflect how we react in life situations off the math, where we hold our stress and how to release it, to watch our thought patterns to see where our mind travels and to release those thoughts to be completely in the moment.

Yoga is a celebration of what is.

For an hour each day, let go of whatever plagues your mind, body and soul to sit with peace with yourself. To use postures to understand our bodies and minds