A living ecosystem

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Frogs. Gorgeous and transformative. Tadpoles absorb their tails, use them as energy as they grow. Such fantastical creatures. Amphibians, able to live in the water and on land. Multi-planed and amazing.

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It’s been an interesting challenge to comprehend that I need to make a home for these creatures. Cats are one thing. You buy some food, some litter, some toys, a cat tree and you love them, pet them, cuddle them, play with them…dart frogs though, they are a show pet, meaning you don’t touch them, you just let them live. But they don’t live in our environment. So I’ve been building one. It’s been an intimidating process, building a living, functional ecosystem. But so amazing as well.

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As always in art, you begin with a blank slate. As you start to make decisions and apply the paint, or in this case the cork background, the less amount of options you have, the more committed on the path you become. I am now committed to my path, as I have now attached the cork background, the wood, the false bottom, the mesh barrier, the ABG stuff and now some plants. Working the sealant and figuring how much that shit expands as it cures was crazy! A total learning process that will be fun to explore should I make another vivarium at some point, or even the two terrariums I have planned for later this year.

I love a garden and choosing plants has been a highlight of this project. I have no idea if the cuttings will root (a wandering Jew seemed apropos, the moon valley leaves are gorgeous and the pilea seems like a solid vine) if the orchid will live, if the moss slurry will take…I have about 2-3 months I guesstimate before the tadpoles are even froglets old enough to live in the vivarium so I’ll have time to become erudite in the ways of ecosystems. I’ll start making a habit of misting the tank, checking the humidity and the temperature and the such. I’ll learn when maybe the tank gets too hot and when it gets too cold depending on what time of day it is.

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I’m not sure any of this will make for an interesting blog, but I lost the friend who was excited about this with me and I don’t want to bore my other friends. So I guess this blog will also serve my trials, tribulations and hopefully success and excitement of being a dart frog mama.

Avicularia versicolor, Kali, to be debuted Wednesday. I was already a weirdo, and now it’s a whole new level.

The Giving Tree

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Do you remember that book, The Giving Tree?  I read it as a child, and I found myself thinking today about it. Shel Silverstein’s ability to write for children and adults is astounding. It’s an ageless, timeless lesson that is always good to remember. And it flowed into my thoughts as I was heading home from a family dinner.

TheGivingTreeWhen I was teaching my 1.5 class a couple of days ago, I focused on vrksasana, tree pose. I was reading about it and the idea of tolerance was suggested (tree metaphors are numerous, rooting, branching out, strength in stability combined with flexibility of motion, etc.). I had not really considered tolerance as a tree metaphor and was intrigued. When I meditated on it things like, tolerance of the crazy squirrels that jump from branch-to-branch, tolerance of the nesting birds cuddling into the leaves, tolerance in the form of still giving shade to those who pull off leaves, branches, or even cut the whole tree down came into mind. Tolerance of the wind as it sings through the branches and leaves…Tolerance with ourselves as we sway while trying to balance on one foot…tolerance of others as they shake our emotions and challenge our thoughts. Tolerance for those closest to us who have nestled in and have become comfortable and perhaps a two-way street of taking advantage has blossomed.

So much tolerance a tree can teach us. Being gentle with ourselves as we root to rise, standing tall and strong, and yes maybe swaying a little in the posture…and in life. A tree stands in one place yet there can be so much commotion surrounding it. Just as we are standing at the center of our lives, and our relationships, jobs, hobbies, etc. surround and color our lives. Tolerance…what an amazing thought. It’s the beautiful way of agreeing to disagree, accepting without judgement, loving without limits. And it was that thought that brought me to The Giving Tree. That tree gave everything she had to the boy as he needed things…and I can’t recall (that’s not to say it didn’t happen), the boy ever saying thank you to the tree. And isn’t that a form of tolerance? Giving without expecting anything in return. The tree posture is about finding your balance and strength while remaining standing and through that opening yourself (and your hips) up for tolerance.

It can be such a challenge to be tolerant in this world. Such a challenge to take a step back to adjust your perspective to see from where another is coming and to draw on the compassion of the anahata chakra. Perhaps even more of a challenge, to put aside the differences and to see the gifts that people do provide us in life…the gift of a smile, the gift of a hug, the gift of a calming presence. I think tolerance can teach us to see the beauty in others, not just our differences. Tolerance allows us to truly hear and see people by releasing our own need to be right, or to push our opinions, or to be heard…and instead quieting our own self and opinions, to allow that need in someone else to be met. Tolerance is our gift to each other. 

Much appreciation to my Saturday students who ignited this thought, to my sister who reminded me, my beloved who talked it through with me, and everyone who has ever given the gift of tolerance to me.

XOXO

Intending your intention

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I often begin a yoga class asking the students to observe their energy, see what they brought onto the mat with them that day, and to set an intention. Something they would like to cultivate during practice, whether it be remaining present, watching the breath, dedicating their class to someone, finding courage, strength, whatever is on the persons mind at that moment, to breathe that in and shift it, internalize it…to intend it. In fact, it has come up so often recently in life, manifesting intention, those small things that I was thinking about that caused a chain reaction, the many conversations I had with people hearing how they were manifesting their beliefs, that caused me to pick up a book on the subconscious.

With that in mind, let’s backtrack a bit. I can remember being in a yoga class one day following an injury. It was the first yoga class I’d been to in a long time. And it felt amazing and I couldn’t understand how I was able to go so many months without stepping onto my mat. All I could think was, Holy shit, I need to get more yoga in my life. I thought it over and over and over again and I thought it in every single yoga class I went to and during the day when I was dreaming about being on my mat. The thought was always, I need more yoga in my life. Two weeks later I had two classes that I was teaching and I had a full-time practice. It would seem that what I was thinking during all those classes manifested for me. I became a believer in intention, and started to realize all the different areas where similar thoughts had written my story’s path. I could trace the pattern of what I thought and what I intended and how it actually formed my life, on and off of the mat. And I flowed this way for years. Watching as my intentions started to form my life more and more as I became more aware of their importance. I even coined a term, Intentional Coincidence, for those moments when it seems coincidental but when you trace things backwards you can see where your past thoughts would have manifested what you were currently experiencing. I mean, let’s face it, these things are not always immediate but some take time to manifest.

When I thought about the why of it all, I thought in terms of the Law of Attraction: the quality of energy you exude is the quality of energy that surrounds you and that you experience. That which is like unto itself is drawn. Like attracts Like. Birds of a Feather Flock Together, Misery Loves Company, Two Peas in a Pod…the idea wasn’t anything new, we hear it in these adages. Add that I’m really not a science person, that I am a really trusting person (at times to a fault), and that I had limited time to think about it (I was busy intending thoughts, lol) so I had little need for the reason behind it since I had experiential knowledge of the truth in the idea. I could trace it’s presence since childhood…and I was able to just trust that if I put out the positive energy, the universe would take care of me.

And then I forgot the power of my intentions, went to a dark place and remained in a vortex of consuming negativity. And I saw my negativity manifest even more negativity…and my panic create more stress…and my fears take me deeper into the depths of this shadow. The angrier I got the more things happened in my life that pissed me off. Again. Law of Attraction. I was literally creating my own worst nightmare and yet was so blinded by anger I didn’t see that I was the one responsible for writing my story. I allowed life to happen to me. I allowed others to make my decisions. I let go of intention and was swept away…sometimes drowning, sometimes swimming upstream, sometimes gasping for air, sometimes not even knowing if I was under or above water. It was fast and furious.

 

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Years pass. Shit happened. Shift Happened. I emerged from my intimate dance with my shadow self…And a couple of weeks ago I picked up a book on the subconscious.

And here began the thinking behind what I had been experiencing. That law of attraction that manifests in all forms in life without judgement: light and shadow, brilliance and darkness, and everything in between. Maybe it’s a science. Maybe it’s psychological. Joseph Murphy seemed to have been a bit of a gypsy spiritualist with a background in religion and chemistry. (Those are my words based on his wikipedia page, so I could be wrong.) At any rate, I appreciated what he was saying and took into consideration his ideas on the relationship between the conscious mind and our subconscious mind.

All your experiences, events, conditions, and acts are the reactions of your subconscious mind to your thoughts. Remember, it is not the thing believed in, but the belief in your own mind, which brings about the result. Cease believing in the false beliefs, opinions, superstitions, and fears of mankind. Begin to believe in the eternal verities and truths of life, which never change. Then, you will move onward, upward, and Godward.
– Joseph Murphy

The idea is, that our conscious mind is our thoughts, be they fully-intended, habitual, or if we’re even really that aware that we are thinking them. It is the waking mind, the surface self, the voluntary and rational mind. Opposite of that is the subconscious mind, the sleeping mind, the deep self, the involuntary and irrational mind. By the way, here it means able to discern. The conscious mind can consider a thought, mull it over, and alter it so that it is of a quality that the thinker wants to manifest. Whereas the subconscious says, Okay Captain. Whatever you say. And our subconscious listens, without judgment, to those thoughts. It is the seat of emotions and is the creative mind. It is the builder of your body and can heal it. You’ve read, I’m sure, how you can say to yourself right before you go to bed, I want to wake up at 8am. And you will. Well, that’s the conscious mind thinking the thought, and the subconscious mind saying okay and creating the thought in life. And similarly, if you think you can’t quit that addiction or change that habit, you probably won’t.

“The power of your subconscious is enormous. It inspires you, it guides you, and it reveals to you names, facts, and scenes from the storehouse of memory. your subconscious started your heartbeat, controls the circulation of your blood, and regulates your digestion, assimilation, and elimination. When you eat a piece of bread, your subconscious mind transmutes it into tissue, muscle, bone, and blood. This process is beyond the ken of the wisest man who walks the earth. Your subconscious mind controls all the vital processes and functions of your body and knows the answer to all problems.”
– Joseph Murphy

It is the place of healing and manifesting. It is designing a life you love. I believe it to be that space where the muse dances and sirens sing. Where visions are inspired by kundalini surges. Where portals are revealed when the pineal gland is touched. The psychedelic realm where vision is expanded, energy becomes united, akashic records explored, and where you have the influence to navigate the waters in which you flow through life.

As Peter Pan suggested, Think happy thoughts and you’ll fly. Again, it’s a thought we hear over and over. And it’s a powerful thought. That which we think is manifested in our life. Not necessarily the way we want it, but more the way we need it. I like to think of it as a collaboration with the universe…I’ll think general concepts, high level ideas, big picture thoughts…and I’ll trust the universe to think of the details. But it’s my responsibility to bring intention into my thoughts and to follow through with them. It’s no longer an, on-the-mat idea…it’s bigger than that. It’s in everything I do. I still struggle, I still forget…but the time is sometimes 7 hours instead of 7 years. I’ve been “intending” in my thoughts to make habits of setting intentions. When I wake up, thoughts for the day; when I get to work in my to do list; in my yoga classes, for whatever I happen to be needing. And with my students, with you, whatever you happen to be needing, in life or in the moment, craft the thought in such a way that it is uplifting. Our thoughts set the stage for the action of the Law of Attraction. What we think is what we are attracting. Be kind and gentle, loving and compassionate, think about the life you want, the dreams you have, turn them into mantra’s and meditate on them, and every so often, as you’re thinking about these things, smile, and cheers the universe.

 

 

 

An honest conversation about how I look and how I think

I was having a conversation with my beloved and it brought into awareness a struggle I am having about how I am am viewed. I was communicating to him my need to feel smart and to feel heard I guess. About my need to have a conversation where I can explore thoughts I am having and to decide if I am full of shit or a fucking genius. Perhaps the truth is somewhere in between 🙂

I had said something about not wanting to hear about my body but rather about the quality of my thoughts. And in this conversation it occurred to me the confusing message I may be delivering to people. You see I care how I look. I craft it, I think about it, I take it into consideration. I’m a very visual person so not only do I want to wear things that are visually pleasing to my eye, the artist in me wants to explore the boxes and challenge them. Not that I’m crazy stylish or anything like that mind you, but I do think about what I wear and how I present myself. And most the time what I look like describes how I’m feeling on the inside. For example, I know when I’ve been working out, when I’ve been eating right, when I’ve been cooking for myself. It shows on the outside. My body is a direct reflection of how I feel and how I am living my life. It represents the quality of my life in a specific moment. The fitter I am, the more I am loving myself.

I think in crafting this image of myself I’ve begun to lose the intellectual side of me. I don’t have the discussions and the dialogs in the class environment that I had growing up. One of the things that I love the most in life is getting into conversations with people. I like to get their thoughts, like to hear their opinions, and I like to merge or mingle or contrast that with my own. It’s one of my favorite ways to connect with people. My smalltalk, is not strong. I like to dive deep down into the hidden stuff pretty quickly. I want to hear about how your life is and how is this discussion, and is it impactful? I have this need to make a difference in peoples lives and I feel like I can do that better with discussion and dialogue. It’s one of my favorite reasons to be a yoga teacher. Be a guide for people. I love hearing when something I said in class causes a shift. I read and I take in ideas a lot and I like to present them to people. I share things that have blown my mind. And maybe they’re impactful and maybe not. But I like to share regardless.

Growing up, my classes were full of philosophical ponderings and seminars. This discussion I had with my beloved, I guess it just made me realize how much I miss that type of environment. The ability to connect on a deeper level with people. Our lives can get so busy and so damn full of the innocuous and the mundane. And we may forget about the deeper connections with our friends and family and people around us. I have been trying to make an effort to slow down and to open up the space so that I can connect with people on that level. This conversation has made me realize how much I need that. That is something I need regularly in my life.

And the ironic and hypocritical thing about it, is that growing up in high school and junior high and what not I’m sure I would’ve loved to have been complimented on my physical self. My younger self definitely would be slapping my current self in the face right now for complaining about getting complemented on my physical self. I grew up a bit overweight and always wearing soccer clothes. My appearance was not something I cared about.

But it is now. Whatever happens in my subconscious manifests in my conscious mind and in my physical environment. I have zero poker face. If I feel like shit, I’m sure I look like shit too. But I want to connect on all aspects of myself. Not just the gross and superficial. I want to connect deeper with my beloved, my friends, my family. I want to get to know the people in my yoga classes and connect with them on an emotional level so that I can help guide their yoga practice to place of creativity and healing.

i’ve been reading a lot on the news lately trying to figure out what’s happening in this world. And overall it really saddens me. I’ve been reading so much about wars about anger about frustration. But I want to see the beauty in people too. And the way that I see that is through connecting with them on an emotional level. Talking to them about their dreams and aspirations. Even walking that dangerous road and talking about spirituality and religion. That I fucking love. I love hearing your thoughts and new ideas to be able to expand my own consciousness. My beloved is one of the most amazing and smartest people I know and in ways I simply am not. I want to get into his head and figure out what he’s thinking and why. And I want to share my side of things complete picture can be formed and maybe, just maybe I can help expand consciousness.

And yes I want to do that while still hearing about how awesome my style is or how great my hair looks. My friend makes the amazing hats that I wear or the arm warmers that I wear, and I love bragging about my hairdresser and how awesome she makes my hair look. I love talking about the shoes that my sister gave me or the outfits my mom buys me. I still love that side of things. I love bragging about how my beloved makes me feel like the most beautiful woman on earth. And I Love and adore connecting with people. Dancing in and with their energy. Sharing mine and commingling. Connecting with the beautiful side of humanity.

I guess I want it all. Body mind soul. I want to hear the beat of your heart, the cadence of your breath, the rhythm of your soul. I want to hear and dance to your song. I want to hear your thoughts and opinions. I want to talk about your shadow self. I want you to challenge my ideas and walk me through the understanding process. I want to discard old ideas and create new ones. I want to buy you a shot and talk about the transformative and healing dream you just had. I could go on and on.

And I love my beloved for always helping me to understand how my complaints can grow my awareness. That saying what I am upset about can help me see what I’m needing and what I value most. We are always growing and we are always learning. And it’s important to accept that and give ourselves empathy and those around us empathy as we struggle to find a successful way to communicate and to connect. But I continue to try. To do my best. And to speak with truth and non-violence. To hear and to consider. To love.

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Living an artistic life

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I was chatting with my friend the other day about how much I dislike laundry. I actually have that conversation frequently. It’s one of my least favorite activities…right up there along any other cleaning-related  ideas. I’m not a fan of it so I rarely carve out space to do it and then it ends up just on my dresser and not in my dresser. At any rate, I had found myself in that situation of having laundry all around my room and just being frustrated. Obviously this is a perpetual problem and is something I’ve been aware of since…probably since I’ve been doing my own laundry. LOL, come on, don’t judge, I can’t be the only one out there that dislikes cleaning that much. So, I’m talking to her about it (amongst conversations of biocentrism and chakra energy) and she says to me, you just got to say fuck it and do it. Stop thinking about it and just do it. My response was something like, I’m not a Nike commercial, there are other things I’d much rather be doing. And she said, I know, trust me, I know. But I also know, and tell myself, that it’s helping my future self to do it now.

And it kind of blew my mind. Yep, just do it. Just get it over with so you don’t have to worry about it in the future. Such an easy solution. And I realized I was giving something so small and inconsequential too much power. So, I left work, went home and I wish I could say I just did it…just got the cleaning over with and the laundry over with, but I totally didn’t. I sat down on my couch and picked up the book on Dharma Art I was reading. And I shit you not, one of the first things I read was about how Dharma Art isn’t just about making masterpieces of art, it’s hardly about that at all actually. It’s about making your life your art, living artistically and coming from a beautiful and clear space so that everything you do is art, the way you put down your coffee mug, the way you do your laundry, the way you…<<<WTF? Really? The way I do my laundry?

If you want to become an artist and you want to have the best of everything, you can’t just have it. You have to start by paying attention to reality. You need to learn to eat properly, to cook properly, to clean your house or your room, to work with your clothes. You need to work with your basic reality. Then you go beyond that, and you begin to have something much more substantial. And beyond that, you actually begin to produce a master artistic world altogether. – Chogyam Trungpa

 

So I sat there. And sat there. And then a voice in my head said fuck it, and I just got up and put my laundry away. Hardly took anytime and I felt so much better afterward. But it’s not just about doing it. I mean, it can be, but then that feeling of resentment and irritation is allowed to exist and fester. That was the motivational point for me that night for sure, just fucking do it already. But I want to transform that into something beautiful. Not necessarily visually, but so it feels beautiful. And again, not just the action of doing it, but in how I feel while doing it. So while I was putting my laundry away, I tried to view it as an art project. How would I shift my perspective, how shall I smile with grace…can I turn it into something beautiful. I’m not sure I actually succeeded, but I did my best to not have a mantra of, I hate laundry, I hate cleaning, and more of a my environment is important to me and I want to nurture my environment. I want to nurture my environment as much as I want to nurture my soul, my friends, my family, my beloved. And that helped me make it in art. (As a side note, it was also interesting that I walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water and upon realizing my dishwasher was clean, just quickly put the dishes away. Smile on my face, body swaying to the beat of the music…a byproduct of approaching my room as a work of art. Hopefully that’s a sign that as you bring that perspective into one activity, it will slowly expand to more and more activities.)

And how often is much of our life that way? There are certain things we do that we do beautifully, artistically. And there are the other things we do that are  handled with much less grace and too much aggression (in Dharma Art, anything done with aggression is not art. Aggression is seen as a bit of the anti-art element). I brought this concept into my yoga class and it’s so easy so see the energy shift from poses we love to poses we don’t so much enjoy. The muscles in our face clench, our shoulders rise, the aggression is obvious. Just as it’s obviously serene when we dance and flow through postures we love and that feel juicy. Living artistically, approaching everything, even the most mundane of things, like laundry, is a challenge. It takes a developed discipline. It’s a challenge to come from a space of calm clarity, non-judgement and just being purely observational. I think this is especially a challenge when having unpleasant conversations with people who tend to anger quick and their words quickly become mean and harmful. In those situations staying calm isn’t always enough and I haven’t figured out how to dharmically approach those situations. But I hope to…to be able to gracefully converse, even about difficult stuff, to come from a place of satya (truth) and ahimsa (nonviolence). Dharma art is awareness, of self, of the world, of all of the gorgeous phenomena happening in our little nook of the universe.

“Awareness practice is not just sitting meditation or meditation-in-action alone. it is a unique training practice in hose to behave as an inspired human being. That is what is meant by being an artist.” -Chogyam Trungpa

So take a moment to consider yourself as an artist. I am a believer that we are co-creators of our lives. I usually think in terms of law of attraction, what you put out you get back, and all of those ideas. I truly believe that you can manifest your intentions if coming from the right space. Dharma Art encourages us to go next level and to not just be a co-creator, but BE a work of art. Live as if you are a work of art. It’s not just about putting out the outlines of life into the ether, but also about adding the color to every detail of life. I tend toward visual art, but even consider your life as a symphony, the way the notes flow and merge and caress the ears, touching your heart, making you weep tears of joy and beauty. Or a succulent meal you are cooking that makes your mouth water, your stomach growl…Find something you naturally do and love and is your art, and then approach everything, your whole life, in the same manner.

Let go of aggression, of judgement, of self-hate…You are the artist and the work of art. Your life is art. Live life artistically.

 

 

Conversations…about Chakras

A lovely conversation about chakras:

Not Me

don’t really believe in chakras but i do believe in the mental clarity and neural pathway realignment that comes with meditation.

Me

why don’t you believe in chakras?

because it’s just a philosophical construct.

they’re not real. they’re more like metaphors for our own personal dramas and how to overcome them.

Me

it’s one of those things science is finally getting around to having the instruments to detect them

Kundalini and chakras are things I am actually really strong in feeling about.

Not Me

how do you know?

(not being argumentative, just genuinely curious)

Me

Have you ever read the studies about a group of people praying/meditating for a sick person in a hospital far away, without that person knowing, and that person’s health improves?

Not Me

i saw it in a documentary…something about that.

Me

It’s things like that that encourage me to believe in Chakras

Not Me

so, in your words, what do you think chakras are?

Me

And my own experiences

Wow. here’s an analogy that I just thought of, and I want to play with it so I’ll share it with you…

You’ve heard of the three blind men and the elephant analogy?

Not Me

ok

um…

no

Me

Incredibly abridged version: three blind guys come up on an elephant, one feels the leg says, wrinkly, hairy, strudy. Another feels the ear and says, no way, flimpsy, soft maleable, another feels the trunk and is like, no way, long, thin, hollow, muscular…you get the idea of how those three different parts, when isoloated, are completely different

but it’s still part of a bigger whole?

Not Me

ok yeah

Me

One of my favorite lines from the Person Letters, also in the same vein, says, “If God is truly so omnipotent as we say, how can one of our religions truly cover the entire scope of that omnipotence? Is it possible that each religion highlights an aspect of said omnipotence?”

still with me?

Not Me

ok sure… “all ways lead to the Way”. I read that in a book.

Me

probably a Tao book, lol

Taoist

Not Me

it was fiction but yeah, the character was based on a taoist monk

Me

Ha! Totally fucking called it

So, track with me.

Instead of god, think of our body

we have energy, right, you do believe that we have energy

and are made up of vibrations and energy, yes?

Not Me

yes

vibrations are energy resonating

Me

And would you agree that humans are multi-faceted individuals that has a large internal dynamic and external expressions?

tons of different moods, perspectives, thoughts, etc?

Not Me

yep.

Me

And we go through a ton of different transitions in life, yes? Different areas grow at different times, Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs, and the such, yes?

Not Me

don’t know what that is necessarily but yes.

Me

Never heard of Maslows Hierarchy of needs?

Not Me

mmmno

Me

Not Me

oh ok yes

Me

Okay, let’s bring it back to chakras, lol

we are a being of energy

that is multi-faceted

Not Me

like a 12-side die

in dungeons and dragons

lol

jk

carry on

Me

so why not have different energy centers that focus on certain facets, that specialize in certain facets, instead of a free for all, that all contribute to the larger whole (bring back in the elephant) so that similar vibrations vortex with similar vibrations…bring in the rainbow here and you get the various frequencies of vibrations pulsing to produce color, those same colors relate to the chakras as well

and then bring in Maslow’s triangle, which also tracks with the chakras

why, if we are intellegent beings, would our energy not separate into sub energies to focus on different aspects.

Not Me

there’s a storm going on in my brain. please hold.

Conversations…what is your religion

I have amazing conversations and want to share:)

 

Not me

ah, so here’s a thought for you that i had last night along the lines of our discussion last week about fate/universe. What is it about fate/universal intervention and supernatural beliefs that are so appealling to humans? I mean, god/universe/religion, what-have-you are so ingrained in the human psyche that people who are atheists generally *become* atheists.. they generally are not born atheists. (again, using generally here, as i know there are some people who are raised by atheists and continue to be atheist). but atheists, in the truest sense of the word, don’t believe in any sort of religion, any sort of soul or spirit or metaphysical guiding force, anything that isn’t the physical world and its vast and astonishing manifestations. so what is it about divine intervention, supernatural beliefs that is so appealing to humans? i mean throughout our relatively short history on earth, humans have used supernatural beliefs/religion to explain phenomena. now though, we have science and proven facts that show us why things happen. (why the sun sets, why people get sick, etc).

i think it is because the thought of us standing on a rock hurling itself through space and looking up at the vast amount of infinite space above us reminds us of our own mortality. of our own fragile existence. and this of course, is terrifying. why not make some shit up about how everything that happens to us happens for a reason? or believing in a higher power that actually cares about what happens to us is like putting on a warm cozy sweater in the rain. the rain of the infinite abyss we call life on a planet amidst a billion other planets and an infinite amount of emptiness.

hmm. just some thoughts.

but to me at least, it’s like we’re wearing blinders when we get caught up in religion/fate/universal intervention. people say things happen for a reason. but how do you know? we don’t ever get to know that reason. it’s so egocentric, that statement. we’re wearing blinders that make us feel better. we’re not facing the reality that holy shit man, we are creatures that shouldn’t be. that came about through millions of years of evolution and somehow, someway, we’re still fucking here. we deserve some fucking credit, not some higher power or infinite cosmic go-go juice.

Me

Okay, first of all, LOVE this. Second, for the most part I agree.

It makes us feel better, gives us a reason and a purpose. Justification and leaves some of the accountability off of us.

what do you believe?

Not me

I consider myself more agnostic. i’m on the verge of atheist but atheists BELIEVE there is no god/higher power/soul. so i consider myself agnostic because I just don’t know.

plus, it’s a very comforting thought that there is something out there that we cannot see or touch that actually cares about these creatures on this far flung rock of a planet. however, if we ever learn that there isn’t, i won’t be devastated.

doubt is my religion. 🙂

what about you?

 Me

I think I am scientifically, energetically spiritual

I’m pretty sure I don’t believe in an external god

I believe in energy

and the laws of energy…so things happen for a reason. Well, yeah, because of energy, law of attraction, what you put out you get back, etc.

Not Me

energy can be quantified. and electromagnetic energy has been tested and proven to emanate from the heart. EM energy can do a lot.

Me

exactly

so I believe in that

so, there’s internal energy and external energy but it’s all still just energy reacting the way it’s supposed to

we have the power to shift our energy and I hold that very sacred so it gives me some purpose, some reason, a semblance of control

and the idea that we are all one/connected is very, spiritual to me I guess

it’s easy to forget that, especially when people are such assholes.

Me

which in turns makes us an asshole

respond to like with like, right?

law of attraction ish

And let’s add on to that

I do believe meditation and psychs can open portals. I don’t think we are alone

in this form, sure

but some of the experiences I’ve had, and the idea of our ego getting a little out of control to think we are the only ones

Not Me

ah, and that is where the wise decision is made to not take things personally. because yeah, meditation and such can open up “doors”, shape our brains, our personalities. to realize that we are eternal energy. this form is just temporary

Me

which is still equally as amazing and sacred

So, it’s interesting. I’m very “yoga” in thought and have been loving using science to back it up

so again, god? no

at least with the traditional definitions of god. a shift is happening so god becomes universe/energy…but I have a sour taste in my mouth with that word

yes! i love meditation and yoga for this reason. science has proven that these things are very good for mind and body.

exactly. god, by definition is something that overpowers us. we cannot shape. even though man invented “god”. i laugh when people worry about what happens after death. my dad sent an email out to all his kids a while back that said he was worried that we weren’t going to church, we weren’t practicing catholics because he worries about where we will go after death. well, if he was actually paying attention, and IF (a HUGE IF) there is actually a god and jebus and such, there is no hell for people to go to. god is seen as merciful to them. so why worry? it makes no sense to me. I just laugh at the trivial comedy of it all.

i just realize that paragraph may not have been easy to understand. in any case. LOL.

Me

so…question

Read two of your statements:

If this statement:

we cannot shape. even though man invented “god”.

Then how this statement:

plus, it’s a very comforting thought that there is something out there that we cannot see or touch that actually cares about these creatures on this far flung rock of a planet. however, if we ever learn that there isn’t, i won’t be devastated.

Do you see what I’m saying?

If man created god then there isn’t something out there that cares.

But wait.

What if we really did? Think about it energetically, is it possible that the energy of all of the mythologies, theologies, panthologies, etc that humans have been investing in/exploring/intending created the permeating energy…shit, thoughts aren’t synapsing over here…

mmmm

 Not me

hmmm… so if man created god, man is god. hahaha mwwahahahaha

*evil laugh*

Me

Man is Frankenstien…

Creation is stronger than the creator

 Not me

ooo i like that one

Quantum Mechanics check in

I remember in high school reading the Wu Li Masters and being baffled by it. My young mind couldn’t quite grasp and retain the concepts that were being suggested. As I grow older and my beloved is one of a linear mindset and always reveling in the beauty of this vast universe, I find myself being drawn into Quantum Mechanics. I’m still barely scratching the surface, but one of the thoughts that has emerged revolves around the chakra systems (obviously).

Wouldn’t quantum mechanics provide the foundation for establishing the truth of the chakra system? If QM finds that atoms are vortices of energy, constantly spinning and vibrating, each with a unique energy signature, it could be suggested that the chakras are actually key identifiers in our truest self, that we are that holistic entanglement of immaterial energy waves and centers that radiate from the chakra centers. The quarks and photons that make up an atom emit strange energies…perhaps energies of the chakra they are aligned with. Yoga already suggests that we are light and energy and this notion further supports that idea. Just like the idea of a multiverse, bringing that internally (as many around me discuss), we’re just tons and tons of vortex’s working symbiotically in concert with each other and perhaps, creating bigger vortex’s as their vibrations mix and mingle. Each chakra is aligned with a color and a sound associated with the frequency of the waves that are produced from the chakra vortex. Therefore we’d all be a rainbow of light and a symphony of sounds that are too delicate perhaps for us to observe with the naked eye.

None of that really helps me to explain the disconnect between observable physical reality and the suggested truest reality of vibrational existence. This of course warrants more exploration on my part as I’m sure there are tons of scientists out there working through this exact thought if it hasn’t been established already. I realized after a comment from my beloved the other day that I still don’t consider the earth to be rotating but the sun to be revolving. I realize intellectually that that’s what is happening, but on a day-to-day, moment-to-moment existence, I don’t think about it. I live in the world I see and perceive. I know I need to take a step into the depths of exploration to really cement the bigger and more vast concepts that have toyed with me sine the Wu Li Masters. To truly dive into the Kundalini I need to take a step out of the known physical reality and start to develop an understanding of the other suggestion notions. Get my head out of the books and into the stars in some ways. These ideas are so beautiful and I am missing out on them as I choose to walk the banks of the ocean of being. As Tool, Alex Grey and the such enter and broaden my experiential world, it is my responsibility, I owe it to myself, to wrap my mind around them as well. To think, to ask, to consider…the neocortex area of our brains allows us to explore the divine, the self as the divine and to be fully present in existence.

At any rate, I am sure I can synapse a few thoughts and begin to map out in my minds eye this Indra’s Net of being.

If anyone has any suggested readings, I would love to hear about them.

 

Me and my Chakras
Me and my Chakras

Conversations…Being Cocreators

Potential

I have a lot of amazing conversations with friends…and I’d like to share 🙂

Not Me:
expand on that thought about being cocreators.

does that make sense?

Not Me:

yes!

we are active parts of the universe. made of star stuff. i agree with that. we are creators of our own worlds.

but the universe plays a role still. ok. i can get behind that. but i don’t get behind the whole fate thing. however, i do believe we each have our own purpose in this blip of a nanosecond in universe time that we call life.

but some people, if not most, fail to reach that purpose. or fully realize it?

Me

It’s my attempt at trying to blend fate and free will, the universal whole and the individual self, and in so many ways, from my rudimentary understanding, the metaphor of Indra’s Net.

how do you separate the universe playing a role and fate?

Not Me:

fate is fixed. the universe can play a role, but ultimately the self has the final say.

Me

what kinds of activities to which are you referrencing?

viz…

you were just in a car accident and paralyzed from the waist down, was that the self having the final say?

Not Me:

nope, but the final say is how you react.

Me

so how do you distinguish between the activies of universe and self?

and, how do you know the universe didn’t set you up with the ability to react in a certain way

Not Me:

and there’s the kicker.

Me

and in fact how do you know the universe didn’t want to send you down a specific path via a specific incident that all depended on your reaction, and if you didn’t react the way to lead you down your path then similar incidents keep happening?

Not Me:

we are all beings of the universe. to differentiate is to diminish the universe itself. i’m just spewing thoughts now. but see, fate is different than universe happenings, if you will.

Me

well, again, I struggle with being a part of and separate from the universe simultaneously. we are one, energetically and mathematically and scienticially, but individual artists of the expression of life

i don’t know, I just made that up, spewing thoughts as you said

Not Me:

i like that. i get that. but yeah, i think that’s the definition of the human condition.

but my logical mind still will not let me believe in fate, or an unseen outside force pulling strings.

Me

well, despite it all, and all that we think, and that we are all made of star stuff, we’re still human beings in this manifestation

Oh, I don’t see it as pulling on strings, though I do adore the Wyrd Sisters

Not Me:

hahaha

greek mythology, ftw

Me

I even dressed up as Clotho for halloween one time

Not Me:

did you??

i can totally see that

Me

yeah, no one got it

Not Me:

peons.

Me

haha. Normals

Think about it in terms of fractals

Not Me:

how so

Me

of mathematical, logical systems at play

Not Me:

?

ok….

Me

or even through chemistry

take the abstract out of it

lay it down with numbers

chemical bonds right, two elements are bound to bond due to their properties, yes

?

Not Me:

yes

Me

different bonds for different situations

Not Me:

ok

Me

our bodies are just bonding with other bodies, as fate would have it, due to our chemical make up

Not Me:

ok but where does “fate would have it” come in? random occurences aren’t so much random as a calculated event?

Me

and just for the record, I’m toying with this idea for me too, I’ve never thought this out before like this, lol

so fate is what gave us our chemical inclinations

and perhaps fate is what generates the bond

take gryoscopes

that thing will spin on an apex (forgetting the technical term) for a long time, spinning into gravity going and going and slowly making a circle down as force slows

but someone needs to pull the string

to start the motion

Not Me:

ahhhh

Me

ahhh yeah or ahh no?

I’m just synapsing thoughts here

Not Me:

so maybe fate isn’t a pulling of the strings but more a slight breeze of outer influence….influencing (lack of a better word) certain events that we can choose how to react to.

Me

Exactly…it’s not god…the pulling of strings is so greek mythology. the idea that they play with us and we’re just marionettes.

I love the slight breeze of outer influence

Not Me:

however, we are still in control. no matter what we do or where we go, how can one say that fate had anything to do with it? is it just an easy way to try to understand things which we do not understand? to put a simple term like fate on something that we do not quite understand is… minimizing i think.

however, i think anything we say and think about the universe is minimizing. how can we understand infinite? our meat bag brains won’t let us. hmmm….

Me

yeah, that’s paradoxical…if got is omnipotent can he create a rock that’s too heavy for him to lift

Montesque said it amazingly, IMO, when he said that all aspects of what we think are true b/c it is so vast and infinite and we are so miniscule how can one comprehend

he probably would have agreed to the meat bag brains usage too 🙂

Not Me:

hahaha!

Me

isn’t saying that we are in control insulting to the universe that is so infinite though?

Not Me:

parodoxical! that’s the word i was looking for

Me

if we are so small, how can we have the audacity to think we are in control

Not Me:

but we are the universe.

Me

if we are the universe are we still meat bags?

Not Me:

and now we go back to the self/universal being.

Me

exactly

Not Me

ha! i like our chats

Me

Me too 🙂