Crows and Coconuts pt. 3 It Didn’t matter

ResponsibleEnergy

So, there were crows flying around landing on branches perhaps influencing the coconuts fall to the ground, but the story didn’t end there.

It said it didn’t matter if the crow was responsible or if it was just the coconuts time to fall. It. Didn’t. Matter.

I had spent hours in my head looking for the cause and effect, looking for the reason. In a state of shock I went in search of the crows, I wanted the why behind such a life-changing incident of such magnitude…without warning, everything changed. Considering all of the why’s of the situation, I left the ground and lived in that state of surreal suspension of the coconut, of suspended gravity looking at every incident in my life as a timeless orb on Indra’s Net. The orbs are as endless as are the connections. I saw so many paths being traced, simultaneously, that brought me to the point of my father’s death and the possible effects of it. I could see the weaver of fates’ (Moirai, Norns, Shai, Gaia, Spirit, God) imprint in my web of life, that beautiful tapestry that is the graphic novel of my life.

And in that suspension I tried to read it.

My beloved gave me a gong bath where I experienced an initiation of sorts in the mysteries of the world. I journeyed through the timeless portals and tunnels of the upper chakras, connecting with the universe in all its varieties and expanses, and danced around the ancient fires of the lower ones. I entered a space of contemplation where I heard my Dad laugh at the thought of bringing my tarantula home and how much my mom was going to not like it. I literally heard him laugh and kind of poke at me to get me to laugh, and I did, I had a little giggle. I felt  love. I went to my Shaman and deepened my journey into the mysteries. I experienced lava flowing and a silent journey on the river Styx beside my dad. I went to Red Rocks shows dancing under the stars of time and experienced such a gamut of emotions. Brit Floyd got me bad as it was the music of my dad. I started to imagine where he was in his life when he was listening to Pink Floyd and imagined the soldier, the man in Thailand during the Vietnam War. Of him, skinny, bald and incorrigible.  So I got a giggle when I felt my knee bending to a beat I couldn’t really hear, but have seen my Dad rock quite frequently. It was an involuntary movement for the duration of  a song and I laughed as I realized that I was dancing the dance of my father…and then I wept when I Wished He Was Here.

I searched for crows and I searched for coconuts. I was a crow and I was a coconut. I was bathed in possible connections, I was a fly caught in a spider web. The only thing of which I was certain was that there was going to be a transformation. And that was the point of the crow and the coconut story.Be responsible for the energy you bring.

We can’t know the why. We can have an inkling and we can think we know, and maybe we’re right and maybe we’re partially right and maybe we are waaaay off base. It’s simply part of the journey of being human. We ask questions, we search for answers, we make calculations to determine what truths we think we can, we search our selves and listen to our intuition and cultivate faith in what we feel. It made me start considering the quality of my actions. And being responsible for the energy I bring. I don’t want to be angry about it. I don’t want that to be the energy I bring. I was told by a friend that the pain will never disappear, that it will always be there and I will always feel it. So during those moments in between the sadness, I want to exude trust, courage, positivity in life. I hate that he died and I still have yet to really wrap my head around it. But I don’t want to feel shitty. I have spent way too many years in the darkness and trying to drag myself out of a pit of anger. I don’t want to go back to that space, and I no longer want to bring that energy. I’m human and therefore fall into that space at times, but I try to show up with love and compassion. I try to commune with my dad’s spirit and remember the wonderful memories, and shed the tears when I miss him. It will happen for the rest of my life.

There are so many unknowns in life, and shit that happens when you just have no idea it was even yet a thought. It’s an exchange of energy. So showing up in life with awareness and conscious intention becomes what’s important. The idea that you don’t know when something small that you do may change someone else’s world. Or when something huge will transform yours.

We only ever can control our own actions. We cannot know the full effects of what we do and how others are effected by our energetic exchanges. It doesn’t really matter if the coconut fell because the crow landed on the branch. It may have made a huge difference, or no difference at all. But it’s important to have landed. To reach out to others with love and respect. To treat others with dignity and honor. Coming from a place of positive intention helps ensure that we are putting a quality of energy out there that can resonate positively. Energy and vibrations interact in subtle ways so even our thoughts are an energetic force. We need to think and speak these kindnesses. You never know when you can make someone smile during a time of tears, or when it’s your last goodbye.

You can help change the world, even if it’s the worlds time to change.

ResponsibleEnergy

 

Part I, Part II

Conversations…Being Cocreators

Potential

I have a lot of amazing conversations with friends…and I’d like to share 🙂

Not Me:
expand on that thought about being cocreators.

does that make sense?

Not Me:

yes!

we are active parts of the universe. made of star stuff. i agree with that. we are creators of our own worlds.

but the universe plays a role still. ok. i can get behind that. but i don’t get behind the whole fate thing. however, i do believe we each have our own purpose in this blip of a nanosecond in universe time that we call life.

but some people, if not most, fail to reach that purpose. or fully realize it?

Me

It’s my attempt at trying to blend fate and free will, the universal whole and the individual self, and in so many ways, from my rudimentary understanding, the metaphor of Indra’s Net.

how do you separate the universe playing a role and fate?

Not Me:

fate is fixed. the universe can play a role, but ultimately the self has the final say.

Me

what kinds of activities to which are you referrencing?

viz…

you were just in a car accident and paralyzed from the waist down, was that the self having the final say?

Not Me:

nope, but the final say is how you react.

Me

so how do you distinguish between the activies of universe and self?

and, how do you know the universe didn’t set you up with the ability to react in a certain way

Not Me:

and there’s the kicker.

Me

and in fact how do you know the universe didn’t want to send you down a specific path via a specific incident that all depended on your reaction, and if you didn’t react the way to lead you down your path then similar incidents keep happening?

Not Me:

we are all beings of the universe. to differentiate is to diminish the universe itself. i’m just spewing thoughts now. but see, fate is different than universe happenings, if you will.

Me

well, again, I struggle with being a part of and separate from the universe simultaneously. we are one, energetically and mathematically and scienticially, but individual artists of the expression of life

i don’t know, I just made that up, spewing thoughts as you said

Not Me:

i like that. i get that. but yeah, i think that’s the definition of the human condition.

but my logical mind still will not let me believe in fate, or an unseen outside force pulling strings.

Me

well, despite it all, and all that we think, and that we are all made of star stuff, we’re still human beings in this manifestation

Oh, I don’t see it as pulling on strings, though I do adore the Wyrd Sisters

Not Me:

hahaha

greek mythology, ftw

Me

I even dressed up as Clotho for halloween one time

Not Me:

did you??

i can totally see that

Me

yeah, no one got it

Not Me:

peons.

Me

haha. Normals

Think about it in terms of fractals

Not Me:

how so

Me

of mathematical, logical systems at play

Not Me:

?

ok….

Me

or even through chemistry

take the abstract out of it

lay it down with numbers

chemical bonds right, two elements are bound to bond due to their properties, yes

?

Not Me:

yes

Me

different bonds for different situations

Not Me:

ok

Me

our bodies are just bonding with other bodies, as fate would have it, due to our chemical make up

Not Me:

ok but where does “fate would have it” come in? random occurences aren’t so much random as a calculated event?

Me

and just for the record, I’m toying with this idea for me too, I’ve never thought this out before like this, lol

so fate is what gave us our chemical inclinations

and perhaps fate is what generates the bond

take gryoscopes

that thing will spin on an apex (forgetting the technical term) for a long time, spinning into gravity going and going and slowly making a circle down as force slows

but someone needs to pull the string

to start the motion

Not Me:

ahhhh

Me

ahhh yeah or ahh no?

I’m just synapsing thoughts here

Not Me:

so maybe fate isn’t a pulling of the strings but more a slight breeze of outer influence….influencing (lack of a better word) certain events that we can choose how to react to.

Me

Exactly…it’s not god…the pulling of strings is so greek mythology. the idea that they play with us and we’re just marionettes.

I love the slight breeze of outer influence

Not Me:

however, we are still in control. no matter what we do or where we go, how can one say that fate had anything to do with it? is it just an easy way to try to understand things which we do not understand? to put a simple term like fate on something that we do not quite understand is… minimizing i think.

however, i think anything we say and think about the universe is minimizing. how can we understand infinite? our meat bag brains won’t let us. hmmm….

Me

yeah, that’s paradoxical…if got is omnipotent can he create a rock that’s too heavy for him to lift

Montesque said it amazingly, IMO, when he said that all aspects of what we think are true b/c it is so vast and infinite and we are so miniscule how can one comprehend

he probably would have agreed to the meat bag brains usage too 🙂

Not Me:

hahaha!

Me

isn’t saying that we are in control insulting to the universe that is so infinite though?

Not Me:

parodoxical! that’s the word i was looking for

Me

if we are so small, how can we have the audacity to think we are in control

Not Me:

but we are the universe.

Me

if we are the universe are we still meat bags?

Not Me:

and now we go back to the self/universal being.

Me

exactly

Not Me

ha! i like our chats

Me

Me too 🙂