Crows and Coconuts pt. 3 It Didn’t matter

ResponsibleEnergy

So, there were crows flying around landing on branches perhaps influencing the coconuts fall to the ground, but the story didn’t end there.

It said it didn’t matter if the crow was responsible or if it was just the coconuts time to fall. It. Didn’t. Matter.

I had spent hours in my head looking for the cause and effect, looking for the reason. In a state of shock I went in search of the crows, I wanted the why behind such a life-changing incident of such magnitude…without warning, everything changed. Considering all of the why’s of the situation, I left the ground and lived in that state of surreal suspension of the coconut, of suspended gravity looking at every incident in my life as a timeless orb on Indra’s Net. The orbs are as endless as are the connections. I saw so many paths being traced, simultaneously, that brought me to the point of my father’s death and the possible effects of it. I could see the weaver of fates’ (Moirai, Norns, Shai, Gaia, Spirit, God) imprint in my web of life, that beautiful tapestry that is the graphic novel of my life.

And in that suspension I tried to read it.

My beloved gave me a gong bath where I experienced an initiation of sorts in the mysteries of the world. I journeyed through the timeless portals and tunnels of the upper chakras, connecting with the universe in all its varieties and expanses, and danced around the ancient fires of the lower ones. I entered a space of contemplation where I heard my Dad laugh at the thought of bringing my tarantula home and how much my mom was going to not like it. I literally heard him laugh and kind of poke at me to get me to laugh, and I did, I had a little giggle. I felt  love. I went to my Shaman and deepened my journey into the mysteries. I experienced lava flowing and a silent journey on the river Styx beside my dad. I went to Red Rocks shows dancing under the stars of time and experienced such a gamut of emotions. Brit Floyd got me bad as it was the music of my dad. I started to imagine where he was in his life when he was listening to Pink Floyd and imagined the soldier, the man in Thailand during the Vietnam War. Of him, skinny, bald and incorrigible.  So I got a giggle when I felt my knee bending to a beat I couldn’t really hear, but have seen my Dad rock quite frequently. It was an involuntary movement for the duration of  a song and I laughed as I realized that I was dancing the dance of my father…and then I wept when I Wished He Was Here.

I searched for crows and I searched for coconuts. I was a crow and I was a coconut. I was bathed in possible connections, I was a fly caught in a spider web. The only thing of which I was certain was that there was going to be a transformation. And that was the point of the crow and the coconut story.Be responsible for the energy you bring.

We can’t know the why. We can have an inkling and we can think we know, and maybe we’re right and maybe we’re partially right and maybe we are waaaay off base. It’s simply part of the journey of being human. We ask questions, we search for answers, we make calculations to determine what truths we think we can, we search our selves and listen to our intuition and cultivate faith in what we feel. It made me start considering the quality of my actions. And being responsible for the energy I bring. I don’t want to be angry about it. I don’t want that to be the energy I bring. I was told by a friend that the pain will never disappear, that it will always be there and I will always feel it. So during those moments in between the sadness, I want to exude trust, courage, positivity in life. I hate that he died and I still have yet to really wrap my head around it. But I don’t want to feel shitty. I have spent way too many years in the darkness and trying to drag myself out of a pit of anger. I don’t want to go back to that space, and I no longer want to bring that energy. I’m human and therefore fall into that space at times, but I try to show up with love and compassion. I try to commune with my dad’s spirit and remember the wonderful memories, and shed the tears when I miss him. It will happen for the rest of my life.

There are so many unknowns in life, and shit that happens when you just have no idea it was even yet a thought. It’s an exchange of energy. So showing up in life with awareness and conscious intention becomes what’s important. The idea that you don’t know when something small that you do may change someone else’s world. Or when something huge will transform yours.

We only ever can control our own actions. We cannot know the full effects of what we do and how others are effected by our energetic exchanges. It doesn’t really matter if the coconut fell because the crow landed on the branch. It may have made a huge difference, or no difference at all. But it’s important to have landed. To reach out to others with love and respect. To treat others with dignity and honor. Coming from a place of positive intention helps ensure that we are putting a quality of energy out there that can resonate positively. Energy and vibrations interact in subtle ways so even our thoughts are an energetic force. We need to think and speak these kindnesses. You never know when you can make someone smile during a time of tears, or when it’s your last goodbye.

You can help change the world, even if it’s the worlds time to change.

ResponsibleEnergy

 

Part I, Part II

Crows and Coconuts pt 2

I humbly surrender to the universe

You know the story didn’t end here.

I searched for crows still. Throughout history, the crow has been associated with both positive and negative symbolic meanings. The most common are:

  • Life magic; mystery of creation
  • Destiny, personal transformation, alchemy
  • Intelligence
  • Higher perspective
  • Being fearless, audacious
  • Flexibility, adaptability
  • Trickster, manipulative, mischevious

Other traditional meanings associate the crow with bad omen, death, and dark witchcraft. The crow also carries the power of prophetic insight and symbolizes the void or core of creation. (source)

An entity such as this landed on a branch at the same time a coconut fell. It seems fitting. But what does it mean and my question of why still hung in the air. But as I read on in the story…

And what of that coconut? Was it going to fall anyway? Was it ripening and ready to be released to the ground? Was the crows transformative, magical essence an inspiration to the coconut to fall to the ground to offer up its water, its milk, its flesh, its life energy, in a fearless way? For the coconut, things have changed drastically. Once arboreal, dangling, growing, expanding and to have let go of the branch to fall. The coconut was already going through so much on its own, and then to have the crow land…it’s in these moments that the human consciousness befuddles the situation. For a coconut, it just falls when it falls. To the best of my knowledge, a coconut does not swirl into an existential quandary about the influencer of the crow, the ego of wondering at the timing of it all, the wonderment of what happens next, for this coconut and the ones around it.

The coconut just falls. It surrenders to the universe.

It releases its connection to the branch, maybe experiences a brief moment of suspension, and then starts to feel the air wrap around the coconut, enveloping it in a timeless, wind tunnel. Where the energies of the crow and the ground merge, connect, dance in endless combinations, all of them and none of them, swirling, stunning, tickling the coconut. 

And it’s a surreal mix of reality and intuition, knowing and wishing.

“I can teleport to the stars…
like the universe is singing a song.
It’s just a story though
Is it a story though?
I can’t tell if it happened cause it felt impossible
Don’t know whether it was real or a dream
Imagination playing tricks on me
Now tell me what you know
Is this a story or
An allegory for the racket knocking at my door?
What’s the difference if it’s real or a dream?
Imagination playing tricks on me”

~Murakami, Made in Heights

Part I, Part III