Crows and Coconuts pt. 3 It Didn’t matter


So, there were crows flying around landing on branches perhaps influencing the coconuts fall to the ground, but the story didn’t end there.

It said it didn’t matter if the crow was responsible or if it was just the coconuts time to fall. It. Didn’t. Matter.

I had spent hours in my head looking for the cause and effect, looking for the reason. In a state of shock I went in search of the crows, I wanted the why behind such a life-changing incident of such magnitude…without warning, everything changed. Considering all of the why’s of the situation, I left the ground and lived in that state of surreal suspension of the coconut, of suspended gravity looking at every incident in my life as a timeless orb on Indra’s Net. The orbs are as endless as are the connections. I saw so many paths being traced, simultaneously, that brought me to the point of my father’s death and the possible effects of it. I could see the weaver of fates’ (Moirai, Norns, Shai, Gaia, Spirit, God) imprint in my web of life, that beautiful tapestry that is the graphic novel of my life.

And in that suspension I tried to read it.

My beloved gave me a gong bath where I experienced an initiation of sorts in the mysteries of the world. I journeyed through the timeless portals and tunnels of the upper chakras, connecting with the universe in all its varieties and expanses, and danced around the ancient fires of the lower ones. I entered a space of contemplation where I heard my Dad laugh at the thought of bringing my tarantula home and how much my mom was going to not like it. I literally heard him laugh and kind of poke at me to get me to laugh, and I did, I had a little giggle. I felt  love. I went to my Shaman and deepened my journey into the mysteries. I experienced lava flowing and a silent journey on the river Styx beside my dad. I went to Red Rocks shows dancing under the stars of time and experienced such a gamut of emotions. Brit Floyd got me bad as it was the music of my dad. I started to imagine where he was in his life when he was listening to Pink Floyd and imagined the soldier, the man in Thailand during the Vietnam War. Of him, skinny, bald and incorrigible.  So I got a giggle when I felt my knee bending to a beat I couldn’t really hear, but have seen my Dad rock quite frequently. It was an involuntary movement for the duration of  a song and I laughed as I realized that I was dancing the dance of my father…and then I wept when I Wished He Was Here.

I searched for crows and I searched for coconuts. I was a crow and I was a coconut. I was bathed in possible connections, I was a fly caught in a spider web. The only thing of which I was certain was that there was going to be a transformation. And that was the point of the crow and the coconut story.Be responsible for the energy you bring.

We can’t know the why. We can have an inkling and we can think we know, and maybe we’re right and maybe we’re partially right and maybe we are waaaay off base. It’s simply part of the journey of being human. We ask questions, we search for answers, we make calculations to determine what truths we think we can, we search our selves and listen to our intuition and cultivate faith in what we feel. It made me start considering the quality of my actions. And being responsible for the energy I bring. I don’t want to be angry about it. I don’t want that to be the energy I bring. I was told by a friend that the pain will never disappear, that it will always be there and I will always feel it. So during those moments in between the sadness, I want to exude trust, courage, positivity in life. I hate that he died and I still have yet to really wrap my head around it. But I don’t want to feel shitty. I have spent way too many years in the darkness and trying to drag myself out of a pit of anger. I don’t want to go back to that space, and I no longer want to bring that energy. I’m human and therefore fall into that space at times, but I try to show up with love and compassion. I try to commune with my dad’s spirit and remember the wonderful memories, and shed the tears when I miss him. It will happen for the rest of my life.

There are so many unknowns in life, and shit that happens when you just have no idea it was even yet a thought. It’s an exchange of energy. So showing up in life with awareness and conscious intention becomes what’s important. The idea that you don’t know when something small that you do may change someone else’s world. Or when something huge will transform yours.

We only ever can control our own actions. We cannot know the full effects of what we do and how others are effected by our energetic exchanges. It doesn’t really matter if the coconut fell because the crow landed on the branch. It may have made a huge difference, or no difference at all. But it’s important to have landed. To reach out to others with love and respect. To treat others with dignity and honor. Coming from a place of positive intention helps ensure that we are putting a quality of energy out there that can resonate positively. Energy and vibrations interact in subtle ways so even our thoughts are an energetic force. We need to think and speak these kindnesses. You never know when you can make someone smile during a time of tears, or when it’s your last goodbye.

You can help change the world, even if it’s the worlds time to change.



Part I, Part II

Crows and coconuts pt 1


There’s a paradox parable of sorts in the Vastishana about a crow and a coconut. It explores the idea of timing. Not in the sense of minute-to-minute, hour-to-hour, day-to-day but in the more eternal sense of fate. It’s a befuddling concept that has tickled man’s mind since we discovered opposable thumbs. For me it develops into a question of a conscious universe, in some ways law of attraction, power of the unconscious. What is the nature of energy? Can we influence our future or are we subject to whatever happens…Is it a dance with Fate the way I had come to think of it?

I had just experienced a devastating occurrence of life. I was desperate for the answer to the quandary: do things happen for a reason? I sat down, picked up my Hindu Mythology book and came across the aforementioned crow and coconut story.

A crow alights a branch at the same exact time a coconut falls to the ground. Did the crows’ touch cause the coconut to fall, or was the coconut about to fall anyway?

Cause and effect is a theme in life. We learn it in school in chemistry (I think) and see it on a molecular level. It’s those scientific notions, the law of conservation of energy, law of attraction, that support the energetic exchanges our ancestors intuitively knew. I leaned toward cause and effect and started seeking the crow that caused my coconut to fall. I looked in every possible corner of my mind, heart and soul. And let me tell you, I came up with a shitload of possible crows. But in a sky of crows, I couldn’t pick out one that satisfied the overwhelming feelings of a situation that rendered me baffled. So to choose one crow that landed on that branch causing the coconut to fall was impossible. I started to wonder if it was possible to choose just one and if there was even the possibility of one…is there a why to the things that happen to us? Is there a reason? Or does shit just happen? All possible crows.

Take a deep breath in, open mouth release it out. Crow is about hugging into center, arms externally rotate and squeeze in to create a stable shelf as a foundation for your crow, your core reaches for your spine so much they fuse in fluidity, your legs squeeze together to create a lift in the lower torso, your mind wraps around your breath, funneling your awareness into being Bakasana. Fingers come down to the mat, spread the fingers nice and wide, press down under the nails. Establish your chaturanga arms and bring your knees to the back of your arms. We are traditionally not weight bearing on our arms…just get used to the idea of holding yourself on your hands. Try picking up one foot, and then the other, and then maybe both. Look about 6 inches forward, settle your gaze on a single dristi (focal point), push down into the earth with your hands and as you do that, reach the forearms in toward each other and rotate your shoulders to the outer sides and then back and down your back. Bring your knees to the back of your arms, engage the core, look forward, pick the legs up from the floor, take flight into Bakasana, Crow.



Part II, Part III

Conversations…what is your religion

I have amazing conversations and want to share:)


Not me

ah, so here’s a thought for you that i had last night along the lines of our discussion last week about fate/universe. What is it about fate/universal intervention and supernatural beliefs that are so appealling to humans? I mean, god/universe/religion, what-have-you are so ingrained in the human psyche that people who are atheists generally *become* atheists.. they generally are not born atheists. (again, using generally here, as i know there are some people who are raised by atheists and continue to be atheist). but atheists, in the truest sense of the word, don’t believe in any sort of religion, any sort of soul or spirit or metaphysical guiding force, anything that isn’t the physical world and its vast and astonishing manifestations. so what is it about divine intervention, supernatural beliefs that is so appealing to humans? i mean throughout our relatively short history on earth, humans have used supernatural beliefs/religion to explain phenomena. now though, we have science and proven facts that show us why things happen. (why the sun sets, why people get sick, etc).

i think it is because the thought of us standing on a rock hurling itself through space and looking up at the vast amount of infinite space above us reminds us of our own mortality. of our own fragile existence. and this of course, is terrifying. why not make some shit up about how everything that happens to us happens for a reason? or believing in a higher power that actually cares about what happens to us is like putting on a warm cozy sweater in the rain. the rain of the infinite abyss we call life on a planet amidst a billion other planets and an infinite amount of emptiness.

hmm. just some thoughts.

but to me at least, it’s like we’re wearing blinders when we get caught up in religion/fate/universal intervention. people say things happen for a reason. but how do you know? we don’t ever get to know that reason. it’s so egocentric, that statement. we’re wearing blinders that make us feel better. we’re not facing the reality that holy shit man, we are creatures that shouldn’t be. that came about through millions of years of evolution and somehow, someway, we’re still fucking here. we deserve some fucking credit, not some higher power or infinite cosmic go-go juice.


Okay, first of all, LOVE this. Second, for the most part I agree.

It makes us feel better, gives us a reason and a purpose. Justification and leaves some of the accountability off of us.

what do you believe?

Not me

I consider myself more agnostic. i’m on the verge of atheist but atheists BELIEVE there is no god/higher power/soul. so i consider myself agnostic because I just don’t know.

plus, it’s a very comforting thought that there is something out there that we cannot see or touch that actually cares about these creatures on this far flung rock of a planet. however, if we ever learn that there isn’t, i won’t be devastated.

doubt is my religion. 🙂

what about you?


I think I am scientifically, energetically spiritual

I’m pretty sure I don’t believe in an external god

I believe in energy

and the laws of energy…so things happen for a reason. Well, yeah, because of energy, law of attraction, what you put out you get back, etc.

Not Me

energy can be quantified. and electromagnetic energy has been tested and proven to emanate from the heart. EM energy can do a lot.



so I believe in that

so, there’s internal energy and external energy but it’s all still just energy reacting the way it’s supposed to

we have the power to shift our energy and I hold that very sacred so it gives me some purpose, some reason, a semblance of control

and the idea that we are all one/connected is very, spiritual to me I guess

it’s easy to forget that, especially when people are such assholes.


which in turns makes us an asshole

respond to like with like, right?

law of attraction ish

And let’s add on to that

I do believe meditation and psychs can open portals. I don’t think we are alone

in this form, sure

but some of the experiences I’ve had, and the idea of our ego getting a little out of control to think we are the only ones

Not Me

ah, and that is where the wise decision is made to not take things personally. because yeah, meditation and such can open up “doors”, shape our brains, our personalities. to realize that we are eternal energy. this form is just temporary


which is still equally as amazing and sacred

So, it’s interesting. I’m very “yoga” in thought and have been loving using science to back it up

so again, god? no

at least with the traditional definitions of god. a shift is happening so god becomes universe/energy…but I have a sour taste in my mouth with that word

yes! i love meditation and yoga for this reason. science has proven that these things are very good for mind and body.

exactly. god, by definition is something that overpowers us. we cannot shape. even though man invented “god”. i laugh when people worry about what happens after death. my dad sent an email out to all his kids a while back that said he was worried that we weren’t going to church, we weren’t practicing catholics because he worries about where we will go after death. well, if he was actually paying attention, and IF (a HUGE IF) there is actually a god and jebus and such, there is no hell for people to go to. god is seen as merciful to them. so why worry? it makes no sense to me. I just laugh at the trivial comedy of it all.

i just realize that paragraph may not have been easy to understand. in any case. LOL.



Read two of your statements:

If this statement:

we cannot shape. even though man invented “god”.

Then how this statement:

plus, it’s a very comforting thought that there is something out there that we cannot see or touch that actually cares about these creatures on this far flung rock of a planet. however, if we ever learn that there isn’t, i won’t be devastated.

Do you see what I’m saying?

If man created god then there isn’t something out there that cares.

But wait.

What if we really did? Think about it energetically, is it possible that the energy of all of the mythologies, theologies, panthologies, etc that humans have been investing in/exploring/intending created the permeating energy…shit, thoughts aren’t synapsing over here…


 Not me

hmmm… so if man created god, man is god. hahaha mwwahahahaha

*evil laugh*


Man is Frankenstien…

Creation is stronger than the creator

 Not me

ooo i like that one