I look up at the sky as I feel the first drops of rain on my face. I felt refreshed and invigorated. The moment was perfect. I took several breaths in, appreciating the water dampening my hoodie but not my spirits.
It was gorgeous outside. And I thought back to the last time I had felt so free. A smile crept across my face as I realized it had been so long and that I was excited for the unexpected, spontaneous visit to the gods. I remembered the text I had sent the friend I was supposed to be meeting up with who had texted me to tell me he was two hours delayed: No worries. I’ll go meditate with the gods.
There was something about just phrasing it that way that set it up for a divine experience.
To be clear, I was at the Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs. A magnificent rock garden. It wasn’t my plan to be there, alone. But the universe knew…and had known all along because for some reason I had my camera and Mala beads with me.
And it was raining.
I saw people hiding under rocks to stay dry. Huddled in or leaving the park all together because of the storm. For me it was the most appropriate weather and I danced in it. I felt so alive and invigorated.
It was the connection to nature I had been missing. And I am a water soul.
I gently wandered around, deep into my freedom, trusting in my feet to lead me. I remember watching the rain fall into a puddle. I had never really taken the time to do that before, but the rain was whispering to me to watch. So I watched. And when I had drank in enough, I wandered on.
The storm was quieting and I found myself at the top of some rocks looking across (Manitou? The Springs?)…I took my camera out and shot a few, drawing in the air and earth energy. I had been burned out by fire energy for so long. I needed exposure to the other elements. And I drew myself into the moment, and sat quietly…
And I realized I was becoming happy with who I am. And that for the first time in years, I was living for me. I’ve always wanted to go to be Garden of the Gods alone but never did. Never really felt comfortable leaving my relationship behind (clearly unhealthy). For years I was in a manipulated, unhealthy space and hadn’t been making decisions for myself or for my needs. Sitting on top of those rocks, I knew that I was living a day of fate, and transformation. I knew that snake energy I had been drawing on was there helping me shed my old skin, and that I was becoming the new me. I’m still not sure who that is, but I knew in that moment, that I was where I was supposed to be and that I was grateful. That life was good and would continue to be good as long as I trusted in myself and the universe. That the earth was beautiful and I needed to connect with that energy more often. So many things went through my mind and I sat with the moment and observed. And it wasn’t amongst my normal chatter, but it was like a slow stream in a still mind…and I just paid attention…
The universe had given me a little shove that morning, and I had gratefully responded.
I smiled, gave myself a hug, and took off my Kali Ma Mala beads. And I sat quietly. And I sat still. And I sat grateful for all of the demons I had already consumed. I sat feeling grateful for the fearlessness and courage I was gaining and that had brought me out into the earth and rain. I sat with my freedom. And I sat with my self. For an hour I sat…
And meditated with the gods.
An after thought…the music I was listening to. Music is huge in my life and I remember, standing in the rain, listening to the storm and wondering what I would put on my iPod…I would occasionally take the head phones off to listen to the sounds of nature, but I settled on Alcest. They are a french band and I’ve never understood the lyrics. But it felt appropriate to listen to while I wandered the gardens. While writing this post I put Faiseurs de Mondes, (click the link to listen) the song I really connected with. I decided to look up the lyrics and they seemed pretty appropriate to the experience so I thought I’d share. Please listen to it as well, it’s so beautiful.
Makers of the worlds
Your ageless eyes
Are penetrating mirrors,
Shaping and beautifying the world
By their reflection.
The edge of the woods, far away
Becomes a moving temple, iridescent,
Celebrating the birth of spring.
And these immense mountains,
Wanting to join the heavens,
Above out heads.
This reality around us,
Is the one you have chosen
And your dreams cover our sphere
With an ideal painting,
Unfolding in the light of your eyes,
At the sound of your voice.